


Love Me Drowned

by ticcingTwit



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Broadwaystuck, For the love of God, Lyricstuck, M/M, This is a crack fic, do not take this seriously, oh and language but you probably knew that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-10
Updated: 2020-04-10
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:28:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23572366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ticcingTwit/pseuds/ticcingTwit
Summary: An EriKar crack fic i wrote and put on Wattpad last year, this is a joke and was written entirely ironically which is (mostly) why it sucks.
Relationships: Karkat Vantas/Eridan Ampora
Kudos: 2





	Love Me Drowned

[song: Love me Drowned; cantabileGato

I apologize in advanced]

Karkat had been out drinking, which was rather uncharacteristic of him, as he usually avoided drinking. Tonight though, was different. Not only was he having a shitty day, but he was also finally confessing his flushed feelings for his closest friend, Eridan Ampora. He knew he'd need something to help him with this, not much though. That was, until his day took a turn to shit, in ways he'd rather not elaborate.

He stumbled up do Eridan's door, practically throwing himself against it whilest banging on it with his fist. "AMPORASS OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR!" His words slurred together in a drunken haze. Suddenly the door swings open, revealing a visibly tired Ampora. Karkat falls straight towards him, luckily enough Eridan's reflexes are fast enough to catch him.

"Kar, wwhat the hell are you doin' here?" He stood him back up and rubbed the tired out of his eyes, of course Karkat just falls back onto him, this time intentionally. Suddenly, Eridans senses came to him and the smell of alcohol radiating from Karkat hit his nose and he noticed how red Karkat was. He took an involuntary step back. "Good Cod, Kar, are you okay?"

"IM ONLY A ***LITTLE BIT*** DRUNK" He stood up and held a finger up to Eridans lips to keep him from complaining. " AND ANYWAY I NEED TO TELL YOU SOMETHING."

Eridan nodded "Yeah tell, I'm goin' to get you some wwater." He walkedoff to his kitchen at a quick pace, but Karkat shambled up behind him once he got in there and grabbed his arm, yanking him backwards. Eridan turned around towards him, surprised at his aggression. "Wwha-"

"JUST LISTEN ASSHAT!!! I WANT YOU," he poked him in the chest, still not letting go of his arm, " TO FUCK. ME. SENSLESS." He put emphasis on each of those last words.

Eridan imediately flushed bright red from the tips of his ear across his whole face. What had he just said? " Wwhat?!?! K-kar, you're drunk." He had to admit he really liked Karkat, but he knew Karkat was drunk off his ass, surely he didn't mean it. Of course he was interupted while thinking this when he was grabbed by the scarf and pulled him close to the smaller boy's face.

"DON'T THINK I DONT MEAN IT, FISHSTICK." He let out a snicker before he started humming. Eridan gave him a a confused look, still laced with shock, until suddenly, Karkat started singing.

"~LOVE ME CANCEROUSLY.~ MISTER BIG BAD KING OF THE SEA,~ IF YOURE BETTER THAN ME~ THEN BY YOUR ROYAL DECREE,~ IN YOUR PRISON I'LL BE~"He turned around, dragging the taller boy with him before pushing him back into the living room. "DOUCHE."

"~DROWN ME ROMANTICALLY~ FILL MY LUNGS WITH SEASALT~ THEN ASK ME IF IM HAVING FUN,~ SHIPWRECKED AND GLUM,~TO YOU I SUCCUMB~" he fake fainted onto Eridan as he sang the last line. Looking ahead, then looking up into Eridan's violet eyes, he kept singing, "~ HEY FISH BREATH,~I LOVE YOU.~"

"~MAROONED, CHAINED UP AND LONELY.~ I'VE SEEN 'WWHALES' LESS HOMELY.~ THOUGH YOUR BOATS WAVES WILL ROCK HER~ NO PLACE LIKE DAVY'S LOCKER.~" he pulls Eridan's scarf off, wrapping it around himself, stepping just a little bit away from him and spinning around once."~BUT WHEN YOUR SCARF'S AROUND ME~ I'M GLAD ITS YOU WHO FOUND ME OUT~ I'D RATHER BE BACK ON DRY GROUND~" he falls back onto Eridan, and turns to smirk up at him. "BUT OOOOH!! LOVE ME DROWNED!~ LOVE ME DROWNED.~"

"~YOU'RE A FISH BREATHED EEL TO ME~ IS THERE NOTHING I CAN DO SO YOU'RE PLEASED?~YOU WANT IT ALL~BUT YOU WONT FALL~ IS YOUR HEART SO SMALL?~" he pushed Eridan, catching him off guard and knockng him backward on to the ground. Karkat quickly moves to where hes standing over him.

"~YOU SUCK!~ SO PASSIONATELY~ YOU'RE A BOTTOM~FEEDING ASSHOLE SHELLFISH PULLING AT ME LIKE UNDERTOW~ YOU PESTERED ME GLUBS~ NOW YOUR FEELINGS WONT FLOW~" he wraps the scarf back around Eridans neck and pulls him upward just enough to wear he can lean close to his face. "~YOU'RE HIDEOUS~ AND SEXY~"

"~MAROONED CHAINED UP AND LONELY~ I'VE SEEN WWHALES LESS HOMELY~THOUGH YOUR BOATS WAVES WILL ROCK HER~NO PLACE LIKE DAVY'S LOCKER~BUT WHEN YOUR SCARFS AROUND ME~IM GLAD ITS YOU THAT FOUND ME OUT~I'D RATHER BE BACK ON DRY GROUND~ BUT OH!LOVE ME DROWNED~ LOVE ME DROWNED~"

Karkat got down, staddling Eridan, who moved out from under him, finally coming to his senses agian. He stood up, face palming. " Look, Kar, just 'cause i wwrote one song-"

"SHUT. UP. YOURE KIDDING IF YOU DONT SHARE MY FEELINGS EVEN THE SMALLEST BIT." Karkat pulled himself back to standing up, using Eridan to support himself. 

"Wwell, you see," he nervously rubbed the back of his head "I-"

Kar just shooshed him, cutting him off again " SHHHH, JUST... ~LOVE ME AQUARIUSLY" he whistled the tune again, begore pushing Eridan back onto he nearest sofa and climbed on top of him yet again.

"~IM YOUR CABIN BOY~AND MY CAPTAIN YOULL BE~ YOUR SIREN SONG CAPTURED ME~" he pushed him all the way down as he returned to the straddling position. "YOURE BORN OF A SEA MONSTER! ~I PITY YOU~"

" ~MAROONED CHAINED UP AND LONELY~ IVE SEEN WWHALES LESS HOMELY~THOUGH YOUR BOATS WAVES WILL ROCK HER~ NO PLACE LIKE DAVY'S LOCKER~ BUT WHEN YOUR SCARFS AROUND ME~ IM GLAD ITS YOU THAT FOUND ME OUT~ ID RATHER BE BACK ON DRY GROUND~ BUT OH! LOVE ME DROWNED~ LOVE ME DROWNED~LOVE ME DROWNED!~ LOVE ME DROWNED~~ WOAAHHHHH!~ LOVE~ ME~ DROWNED!!!~"

Karkat pulled Eridan into a hard, sloppy kiss, before passing out on top of him. Eridan, stayed there for several moments, still in shock from the previous several minutes. After it finally all set in, he moved Karkat from on top of him, laying him on the sofa before fetching him a blanket and pillow.

This was gonna be interesting to explain in the morning...

**Author's Note:**

> I am so sorry that you just read this  
> but thanks anyway!
> 
> Yeah, I'm going to Homestuck Hell for writing this


End file.
